I'd Go With You To Hell And Back
by Katydid2390
Summary: This is a prequel to my one-shot, I Never Believed It Would Happen. Team Fic. Gibbs, Tiva-cenntric. POSSIBLY SOME McAbby. Will be written in different POV's. Begins at the end of Aliyah. How far will the the team go for each other? To hell and back.
1. Chapter 1 Gibbs

I do not own NCIS or any other characters mentioned.

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"Take care of yourself."

I watched as the knowing spread from her mind to her face. I knew the moment she asked me to choose, the moment she stopped me, that she wasn't getting on that plane, no matter what I said. Getting transferred to another team? She never meant it. Both she knew that and I knew that.

My eyes wandered to her father, Director David, standing in the background, and back to the look on Ziva's face. I wondered what he had said to her to make her stay. Trained Mossad operative or not, the girl's eyes give her away.

I knew these weren't her words, but I also knew that she needed to work this mess out by herself. She couldn't come back to NCIS like this, with all this doubt. Doubting me, doubting Tony, doubting herself.

I looked her in the eye one more time and turned to let her go. Walking into the transport, I avoided Tony's knowing eyes.

"Boss, One short?" DiNozzo spoke with a tension in his voice. A tension that I recognized all too well, as I pushed flashing scenes of Paris out of my head. Not again, not now. I waved the plane on, giving Tony his answer. I braced myself for the long flight and the questioning stares, tried to get comfortable and closed my eyes.

_We miss you already, Ziver. Come back when you're ready. I just hope you'll get the chance…_

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Ok, I understand this is very short, but I need to lay the groundwork for each character and how they react before I get into the meat of the story.

If you all bear with me I think you'll be pleasantly surprised!

Also, This story begins at the end of Aliyah. Canon with what we know so far. Prequel to my story, I Never Believed It Would Happen.

Enjoy! Reviews are my life-blood!

-Katydid2390


	2. Chapter 2 Tony

**I do not own NCIS or any characters mentioned below!**

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Buck up DiNozzo. You'll fix this. She'll come home with Gibbs and I, and I'll show her that she can trust me again. It doesn't matter that she thinks I shot her shady Mossad boyfriend because I was jealous. Fat chance of that. I was protecting my partner. I was protecting myself. Shit, he was coming at me; he would have killed me. He should have killed me…_

Tony's mind uttered the words that he had been repeating over and over since that fateful night. Tony watched Ziva stop Gibbs halfway to the plane and he knew something wasn't right. They exchanged a few words, Gibbs kissed her cheek, and he walked up to the transport. Alone. He take a look back at his partner. She looked… conflicted. Tony couldn't believe she would leave the team, after all we've been through.

_Leave me_.

Her father was standing a ways off, and had that smug, Director-like, "I won" look on his face_. I want to punch the bastard._ Gibbs walked in and Tony summoned up whatever sanity he had left in this unfathomable situation, not being able to believe that Gibbs was going to let her go.

"Boss, one short?"

DiNozzo knew Gibbs could hear the tension in his voice, and he didn't really care. _Gibbs can think whatever the hell he wants_.

He then became more subdued. _I wonder if it's like this every time a partner leaves you._ Flashes of Kate make their way into his consciousness before he knows what's happening.

_Yes. Sometimes, sometimes it can be worse. Sometimes DiNozzo, you don't get a chance to make it right._

Tony watches as the door closes and looks at Ziva, black hair fanning out behind her head with the wind and brown eyes clouded with emotion, yet at the same time, stone cold. He heard the sound of metal locking into place and realized the door had closed. As the plane took off and he climbed further and further from someone who had become such a part of his life he thought, _Hold on Ziva, I'll find a way to fix this. I'll find a way to make this right._

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**Aren't you lucky! You get another chapter today! A little look into what I thought Tony might be thinking as they left Israel. I think I'm going to do Ziva next, so expect it soon!**

**Reviewreviewreview! :)**

**-Katydid2390**


	3. Chapter 3 Ziva

**Note:: The words in Italics are Ziva's "conscience". It's what I believe she has going around in her head that makes her act the way she does, to wall up and push through, for better or worse.**

**I do not own NCIS or any character mentioned below.**

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I watched as Gibbs walked away, without a second look back. It angered me somewhat. Why would he not fight for me? After everything we had been through, he would walk away without another thought.

_You know you could not have gone with him even if he had. You know he would not fight your decision, however unspoken._

I shifted my eyes from Gibbs to Tony, sitting in the plane. Realization and fury had spread to his face, most likely at me for abandoning the team, and then faded to something softer, something akin to pain and sadness, traced his features. When I looked at him, I felt so many strong emotions I could barely breathe, but I was not prepared to let him see both the rage and doubt, but also the hurt and wanting, so I pushed them back as I was trained and steeled my eyes, hoping it would be enough. Still his eyes were trained on mine even as the door to the transport closed and locked.

My eyes followed the plane into the sky as I said goodbye to my old life; not only Gibbs, who was more of a father to me in these last years than my father had been my whole life, and Tony, my best friend and partner, but also someone who had hurt me so significantly I did not know if I could trust him anymore; no, it was not just them I was saying goodbye to. It was McGee, with his ever-present sweetness and tentative confidence, it was Abby, with her brilliant mind, love for Caf-Pow, and even greater love for her team, Ducky, with his compassion and fascination with life. I was saying goodbye to them as well.

_You cannot go back now._

The last traces of the transport had disappeared over the horizon over my homeland, and something inside me, something I was not aware of, broke.

_You cannot go back now. You will make this your Aliyah. You will finish what Michael, the man you loved, started. You will find a way to make this work. _

I will.

"Let's go, Ziva"

_Let go, Ziva._

I turned to meet my father's eyes, and saw pride. I could not tell if he was proud of himself or of me. I did not care. I would put my trust in my father. I would put my trust in Mossad. I would make this my home again. And like I had so many times before, I shut out my heart, shut out my mind, and walked away.

_You cannot go back._


	4. Chapter 4 McGee

**I'm sorry about the horrendous hiatus between Chapter 3 and Chapter 4! There is no excuse! All I can say is that I'm back and I think you'll like the direction this is going. This is a bridge chapter of sorts, and who better than McGee, since he's so observant! I hope you enjoy, and comments are always appreciated.**

**If I owned NCIS, I'd keep Tony and McGee all to myself, but sadly, I don't. So there you go. **

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I'm glad things are getting back to normal. In less than an hour, the rest of my team will be reinstalled into their rightful position. I know it's not going to be easy, cleaning up this past month's mess, but I'm confident we can do it. We've gotten through worse.

Well, maybe not worse, but surely close.

I miss the way we all used to be. I miss Tony's horribly relentless good-natured teasing. It always seems like there's an edge in his voice, even when he's joking, that I've rarely seen him use, even though it has become the norm. I miss Ziva's laugh, as simple as it seems. When she came here, she didn't let her guard down with us, so when we could weasel a real laugh out of her, it was like a sun shower or the northern lights, really rare. But for too long the wall has been erect and impenetrable.

We haven't heard her laugh in so long.

And Gibbs. As much as he stays the same stoic fortress of rock, I can see that even he is beginning to crack. All the lies, all the deceit, all the tension.

Even he has limits.

I think he realizes that this is one problem a kind and swift blow to the back of our heads will not solve. Of course the rest of us feel the effects, but as much as they're a part of the larger team, they are a unit unto themselves. Like three different computers working together to crack a code, humming in a harmony barely audible to the untrained ear. They just kinda… flow.

"McGee, McGee! Are they home yet!?"

I grin at Abby as I almost fall out of my chair.

"Gees, Abs, go on and give me a heart attack! I have no doubt that they will come straight here as soon as they get home. No one would dare disappoint you, Abby."

"That's because, McGee, I can kill them without leaving…"

"Leaving any trace of forensic evidence, I know…"

"That's what I love about you McGee, your intelligence," she retorts smiling.

We watch and wait, and finally we see Gibbs and Tony walk through the elevator.

_Thank God. But where's Ziva?_

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It's been a month since any of the team has heard from Ziva. I have to say, we all took it a lot harder than we thought. It's not like anyone is talking about it or asking, we try to go on as normal as we can pretend, but I can tell, even if it's only because I see the same thing in myself. Abby is the most vocal about it, though that's really not a surprise. The other day, I was down in the lab helping her with a cold case, and in the middle of whatever evidence she was processing, turned to me and just said out of the blue, "I miss her, McGee." I wanted to tell her so badly that it would be ok, that Ziva would decide to come home and we could feel like a team again, like a family again, but I saw the look in her eyes, the same look in mine, one of confusion and hurt as well as loss, and I couldn't saw anything but, "I know Abby. Me too," before I turned back to the computer.

I know Palmer misses the comfortable air we created and he's been tense, even for Palmer.

Ducky is a bit quieter around all of us, if only for a little while, though he still tries to lift our spirits constantly. Sometimes it works.

Gibbs… All I know is that, under the stoic exterior, he has kept that desk open longer for her than he has for anyone, even Kate.

Tony is well… Tony. He hides behind humor, but everyone can tell it's forced 86% of the time. We've noticed he's really not been going out much either. Our Tony, giving up a Saturday night for pizza and beers with me, instead of going to a club, who knew. He checks his phone a lot more often than he used to, even when he was dating Jeanne, and I catch him glancing up at the elevator almost every time it opens, maybe hoping for her to walk through it and forgive him. As his friend, I think he's taken this harder than anyone, and I don't know what will happen. I just wish we could find a way to bring her back. Bring her home.

_We're going to find you Ziva. I just hope when we do, you want to come home._

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_She's gone. _

Ziva… is gone.

It's almost impossible to think that something as natural and trivial as a storm could take down our "ninja", our superhero, our friend. I always had this thought, and maybe it's the writer in me, but I always thought that if Ziva was to ever... die, she would go single-handedly saving a whole country from some horrible evil, under a rain of gunfire, badly wounded but still fighting. That's the spirit I always saw in her. Compassionate, wild, sweet, fierce, strong and brave. Above all other things, brave. That's what she taught me everyday. She taught me how to be brave.

She didn't deserve this.

Tony doesn't deserve this.

He's not even pretending anymore, it's like he doesn't even hear anything but, "Grab your gear". He blames himself; I can see it in his eyes. He had so much hope that we would find her. We all did. We just found her too late.

I ask him almost every other day if he wants go out to eat with me and Abby to talk, but he says no. I can understand.

I mean, what's there to talk about, really.

_We failed Zi. I was too late. _

_I'm _

_so_

_sorry. _


	5. Chapter 5 Tony

**I don't own Tony or any NCIS characters, unfortunately. sigh**

**With that, I leave you to Tony.**

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DiNozzo appreciated McGee's earnest attempts to get him to go out with him and Abby, but he didn't feel like it tonight. The only thing that Tony felt like doing tonight was watching hours of mindless TV shows. And drinking. Tonight he felt like drinking. He knew it was wrong, and he knew it was dangerous, but Tony liked the feeling of staring down the bottom of an empty whiskey bottle when his head was spinning. It felt stable, final.

_And the killer buzz doesn't hurt either, DiNozzo. _

Another case closed. He thought it would make him feel some sort of relief, with another worthless dirtbag behind bars. Now, it made him feel restless. Nothing to focus on. No reason to care.

_Work is good. Work is safe. I mean, you can't let a lead run cold twiddling your thumbs and thinking about the past._

He liked to have something to occupy his mind.

Tony traveled on autopilot to his apartment, and was almost surprised when he found himself sticking his key into the lock.

"Gotta get out of this damn suit," he said to no one, tossing his keys to the coffee table and leaving a trail of wrinkled clothes to his bedroom.

_I'm running out of clean clothes. _

DiNozzo faced his sparse closet. There were a few dress shirts, a dinner jacket and a form fitting green pullover.

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"What's with the girl shirt, Tony?" McGee piped up across the bullpen in one of his more teasing moods, given he had just cracked the computer equivalent of the Great Wall.

"Girl shirt? For your information McLame, this is a Hugo Boss tailored, cashmere, emerald green sweater from his 2001 men's line. This is no girl shirt." McGee just rolled his eyes good naturedly.

"Kate, settle something for us, please. Would you call what Tony is wearing a "girl shirt"…?" Tim called as she walked out of the elevator.

She shifted her eyes from the shirt to McGee. "Oh no. I'm not getting pulled into your little catfight."

"Come on Ka-tie. Help a brother out!" DiNozzo whined.

"Alright already! You're such a four year old." Her eyes shifted from annoyed to amused. "It's… a good color for you."

McGee chuckled, happy that he won the argument, but Tony and Kate just sat at their desks and smiled at each other.

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Tony had forgotten all about that. It didn't really mean much at the time; it was such a little thing. He reluctantly removed the hanger and put it on, and for a second he could almost feel her smile.

_I need a drink._

DiNozzo grabbed a ¾ full whiskey bottle from where it had been sitting relatively undisturbed for the last few months, and the nearest glass. He retreated to his brown leather sofa and tried to focus on not concentrating.

_Whatever the hell that means._

Movies were out of the question, for once. He couldn't think of a genre that wouldn't stir up bad memories.

Food Network just made him remember he was drinking on an empty stomach.

Lifetime was, well…, Lifetime.

Boxing was safe. Nothing wrong with a couple of sweaty guys beating the crap out of each other.

_Boxing it is._

Tony felt his body sink into a warm sense of complacency as the liquor in his hand slowly disappeared. He felt calm and almost dream-like until his mind suddenly threw him into the past.

_I know it looks like I'm hiding in whiskey. _

_Maybe I am. _

_But I need it to face what I've done._

_I need to have a drink with the women I let down, the ones who were most important in my life, the ones I couldn't save. _

_Paula. Brave and beautiful. She saved all of us that day. I should have been able to save her. _

_Kate's a wound that's never gonna truly heal, even with as many years as I've put between us. It took me 2 years to see her as something other than pale and cold, not feel her blood on my face. _

_Jenny. This I __could__ have prevented. If I had listened to Ziva, she wouldn't have gone to that death trap. She wouldn't have had to gun down those goons alone, and the Director would have gotten a little more time. _

_And Ziva._

His heart wrenched.

_No, I didn't kill them, but I didn't save them either._

_I have their blood on my hands. _

Three hours and 5 glasses later, Tony was still watching boxing. Well, no so much watching as listening. Listening to the cheers, the screams, the sound of fist to chest and feet pounding the hard floor of the ring. He was suddenly furious, with a fire running through his veins deeper than the alcohol, but definitely surfaced by it. DiNozzo immediately focused on the least painful focus of his frenzy and fury, Gibbs. He saw his boss' face, stony and emotionless through these past few weeks. The fact that the team, that was left, needed more than his brand of determination and hard-heartedness.

_Boss, one short…?_

_How the hell could he do this?! How the hell could he leave her there, break up the team, and never give us a word of explanation. It's… Its shit, that's what it is!_

_The bastard! He's a goddamn bastard! He pushed them all away, and that's why they're gone. He pushed Kate away, he pushed Jenny away, and he pushed Ziva away. Two of them are long dead, and all evidence tells me that Ziva's… Ziva is…_

DiNozzo felt overwhelmed with mounting feelings of rage and depression. He felt like his body couldn't sit on his couch anymore, or he was going to burst into shreds like the Hulk. So he did the only thing his mind could tell him to do.

He took one long, last swig out of the whiskey bottle, grabbed his keys, and slammed his door behind him.

_I'm getting you out of your damn basement Gibbs. Tonight, I'm getting some answers._

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**My thought process behind this chapter was basically looking at Tony as he is about to hit bottom. The reason that he is taking this so hard is not only was Ziva one of his most important people, but I think he really never got over all of the tragedy he's had to face with Paula, Jenny, and Kate, so not only is he grieving for Ziva, he's feeling the same ache 3 times over. He feels like he's failed them, is responsible for their deaths, he can't force himself to face it, so he's blaming someone who's been there, someone who is stable. Next chapter is going to be Gibbs POV and the confrontation!**


	6. Chapter 6 Gibbs

**Here's the confrontation for you all. **

**I do not own NCIS, Gibbs or Tony. Sigh...**

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I never meant for any of this to happen. I meant to leave Ziva in Israel so she would come back, not so she could die in some hell hole, alone on some god forsaken ship. Losing her is like… it's like losing Kelly all over again. They were like day and night, and Ziva wasn't my daughter, but I could see the same spirit, the same compassion in her eyes that I saw in Kelly's. And there isn't a day that goes by that I don't want to blast that son of a bitch David away for sending her out into that death trap. But, considering that he's the Director of Mossad, and not a Mexican drug lord, Vance would not be very appreciative. I'm still weighing if it's worth it…

Bang.

"Gibbs."

_Tony?_

BANG. BANG

"Gibbs, Open the damn door!"

He must have tried the doorknob, because the next thing I knew he was half strutting, half crashing down my wooden staircase.

"What are you doing here DiNozzo?!" He looked like he had fire in his eyes and in his veins. I knew that he was drunk, but I also knew that this confrontation was a long time coming. Ever since we had heard the news, my senior field agent had been acting more and more… like me. He barely spoke, and when he did, it was a couple of necessary words to the team or barking reports at me.

He just stared at me, pain, loss, hate, but most of all guilt behind the façade of furious bravado.

"You, Gibbs. You. Are going. To answer me. Don't just stand there like a statue with a bad haircut! Answer me!"

I kept my voice low and even, trying not to set him off. "Well, DiNozzo, I might be able to if you actually ask me."

_Wrong choice._

He overtook the space between us and got so tense, you could snap him like a rubber band.

"You know exactly what I'm asking, _Boss_.Why did you leave her there?"

Even with seeing it miles out, it still hurt to hear him say what I've been thinking with all the venom in his voice.

"Tony, I am…"

"NO! Why did you leave her there to die! Cold-hearted bastard!"

And without any warning, DiNozzo's steady right hook hit me square on the chin. Admittedly, I was stunned. He was as well, but he was running on adrenaline now, and not even his common sense, that usually steered him right, was hooking up to his brain, so he came forward and kept swinging, the weeks and months putting power in his fists. I blocked them rather easily, his drunkenness beginning to settle into his reflexes, if not his strength, and let him go on for a while. He needed this. I sure as hell took a couple of swings at Franks after some real bad days. When I thought he'd had enough, I got him and pinned him on the ground as he struggled.

"Why did you let her die!" Tony said desperately now. He settled and tears welled up in his eyes, "Why did I let her die Gibbs? Why did I let her die…" The supports under the boat made for something he could lay up against, so I sat him up, slid down next to him, put my arm around his shoulder in comfort and let him calm down. He was in no shape for driving home; he wasn't in any shape to drive here, so the guest room was as good as any.

"Come on, I gotcha. Just up the stairs and to the right."

He barely made it to the bed before he all but passed out, so I hit the light and closed the door.

_How did I not see how much pain you were in, Tony? I don't know how I could have missed __how much__ agony you've been in everyday. You've always been so good at masking it. Even now. Or maybe I wasn't paying attention._

Reorganizing my toolbox and straightening up a chair that were both overturned in the scuffle, I thought about how she had always unexpectedly held him together. She got him through the heartbreak and tragedy that seemed to haunt him. It wasn't a secret how much they relied on each other.

_He'll never get over this._

No, I don't think he will. I saw the debilitating pain on his face. He will carry this with him for the rest of his life. But someday, someday he'll learn to live with it, and it'll just become a part of him.

_Just like me._

If it was under any other circumstances, I might have laughed that DiNozzo was snoring like a buzz saw as I rounded the corner. He must have heard my boots coming, because the snoring stopped and his voice breached the door.

"I'm sorry, Boss."

Normally I would remind him about apologizing and how it's a sign of weakness, but those seemed like empty words after all of this, so I just said,

"Get some sleep, Tony."

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**This was a hard chapter to write. I wanted to illustrate the way Gibbs and Tony are becoming more alike, and also show a more emotional and caring father/son type of relationship I believe they carry under the surface. This is really tearing them both up and they've been taking it out on each other. I also needed to show Tony at his most venerable. Between listlessness, drunkenness, and depression, he really doesn't have a wall left to keep it all in. I hope that I did both of them justice! Next up is the aftermath from Tony's POV!**


	7. Chapter 7 Tony

**Another long hiatus, but the muse is a fickle friend. **

**I do not own NCIS. Sad for me.**

**Here's Tony and the aftermath! Next up, Gibbs!**

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Tony slowly pulled himself out of a black, dreamless sleep, head throbbing, opened his eyes and stared at the beige walls around him.

_Wait… My walls are burgundy… This isn't my house._

He looked around despite the obvious hangover and tried to get a handle on where the hell he was.

_Now, I was at my apartment watching wrestling, and then… Oh, shit. I'm at __Gibbs__' house and I punched him. A lot. _

Everything went a little fuzzy after that- vaguely stumbling, from drunkenness and exhaustion, up the basement stairs and, later, apologizing to someone, probably Gibbs.

_This is why you don't drink, DiNozzo. You get upset and stupid and you do things that probably make you get fired, like, oh yeah, PUNCH YOUR BOSS. No matter how much he pisses you off…. Now get up off your ass and get to work while you still have your job._

He was still completely dressed from last night, keys in his pocket, so he quickly made his way to the front door, but was stopped by a note tacked to it.

Tony- Coffee. Shower. Change. Then come in. –Gibbs

_That was unexpected._

He wanted to just leave, wanted to defy the man he had taken out all of his anger on. But, an order was an order.

_Sometimes you get orders. You may not like them, but you follow them. That's why they're called orders._

_No. Not again, not now. _And he pushed away the memory as quickly as it came, turning around and making his way to Gibbs' kitchen for the coffee. Everything from Gibbs' morning brew was still laid out on the counter, as well as an industrial sized bottle of aspirin. It almost made Tony smile, but the guilt, residual rage, and excruciating headache prevented him. He popped a couple and started brewing the coffee.

_Time for a shower._

The hot water began to alleviate his headache and his muscles, aching from tension and probably last night's impromptu boxing match. The timer went off on the coffee as he contemplated how Gibbs will react when he sees the only change of clothes he had in his car are sweats from a pickup game a few weeks ago…

_Well, it can't get any worse. __Dress code__ is the least of my worries. _

He laughed quietly to himself as he took a change of clothes left on the back of the bathroom door.

_That man really does think of everything. _

_Franks probably left them last time he was here, because they're too big to be Gibbs'. Alright, enough stalling Anthony. Time to face the music. What's the worst that could happen? Don't answer that._

In his car, away from the distractions of getting ready, it was all he could do to not think of the reason this all started, the wedge that drove them all so far apart. In some of his more morose moments, he wished it was the other way around; that Rivkin had killed him instead of the reverse. Would it have been different? Would everyone else still be together? Would Ziva have renounced Mossad instead? Would she be safe?

_But that's not how it worked out._

This kept circling around in Tony's head as he made his way into the navy yard, up the elevator, and cautiously, solemnly into the squad room where Gibbs immediately met his gaze.

McGee looked from Gibbs to Tony and back again with a caught-in-the-crossfire expression on his face.

"DiNozzo, elevator."

Gibbs remained stone faced as he passed his protégé and waited for him to step into the makeshift office as well. DiNozzo dreaded every step he took, knowing the world of hurt, physical, professional, and emotional, that could be waiting on the other side. He stepped in and watched the doors close, feeling his boss' eyes piercing behind him, but unable to look him in the eye.

"Tony_._" Gibbs' voice was gruff, but not angry as he had thought. He finally turned around and where Tony thought he'd see fury, instead he saw something else, a look that could only be caused by the shared experiences and fatherly compassion. Gibbs put his hand on Tony's shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

He wasn't quite sure how to answer, so he reflexively brushed it off jokingly, as he had trained himself to do.

"Sure, considering it wasn't the first night I woke up not knowing where I was, if you know what I mean."

The words were wooden as soon as they left his lips. He was sick of forcing humor, sick of laughing at his own flat jokes. He was sure that Gibbs was too. Sure enough, the infamous Gibbs stare pulling the truth out of him.

"No, Boss, I'm not okay."

"I know. Why the hell else would you show up in my basement for a fistfight?"

Gibbs' senior field agent started scrambling for an explanation and an apology, but the boss faced him straight on now.

"I get it, Tony. Believe me, I get it."

And then, suddenly, Tony stopped and realized that Gibbs might be having as hard a time as he has. That he has felt like this before, worse, losing Shannon and Kelly, then Kate, and again, the Director, just over a year ago. That this isn't the first woman he's lost either. The first partner. The first... The intensity in his mentor's eyes was fierce, almost frightening, but the words were what he had to hear.

"But you can't keep doing this. You can't let yourself do this. I know that you wish it could have been different, that it was you. But you're still here, she's gone. Are you just going to sit in your apartment and drink yourself to death or are you going to do something? What are you going do?"

They rode back together silently, but the words echoed in Tony's head all the way back to his desk.

_What am I going to do…? What would she want me to do…? Gibbs is right_.

And Tony knew then that he wanted vengeance. Vengeance for his partner. Vengeance for his best friend… Vengeance for the woman he should have been able to love…

_Salim will pay. He has to._

So when Gibbs said the three words that have been his lifeline to reality-

"Grab you gear!"

Tony finally had the strength to tell him what he'd wanted to say from the beginning.

"No."

The sheer look of surprise on his boss' face made him for just a moment rethink his statement, but no. This was right. So when Gibbs asked him to repeat himself, he was able to ask tentatively, but with resolve.

"Salim has got to be stopped, before one more person dies?"

The look of pride and finality was not so hidden behind the older man's features that DiNozzo couldn't see it.

"Make your case."

* * *

That night Tony poured the whiskey bottle down the drain and went out with McGee to start planning.

_I'll get him Ziva. I swear, no matter what it takes, I'll get him._


End file.
